10 Steps to Lasting Relationships
There are hundreds of ways to create bulletproof relationships but there are also hundred of ways to easily end relationships. However, the real secret to create lasting relationships is to know the first ones and avoid the later.
While this article will tell you about the ways to endurance your relationships, be careful not mining the process doing things that will damage your relationship.
The best way to fight Infidelity is creating strong relationships that will leave no place in your couple’s mind for cheating.
Believe it or not, communication will solve most of the problems in any relationship, however, most of the time it comes very late into the equation when problems are in a terminal stage.
I know what are you thinking, I used to think the same: We all hear about communication this and communication that, but it seems that it cannot solve anything at all.
Yes, you are right, it happens! The big secret here is that most of the time we think that communication is talking, while the most important part of communication in a relationship is listening. People think that communication is telling what we don’t like, complain and verbal fighting, which is not! In a relationship, communication is an honest attempt to exchange feelings and information, thus it implies exposing our feelings but it also includes listening and taking care of our faults.
When a couple gets into trouble, it gets easily deeper into the problem by losing its communication. Avoid this if your relationship gets into trouble, regardless if the problem looks trivial at the beginning.
One of the biggest threats for relationships is that although sometimes one of the persons in the relationship understands that they should try to communicate to solve the problems, the other blocks the communication, making things more difficult.
When couples get help from therapists, priests or any other person, what they do, is to break these communication barriers between the couple. Think about it.
2. Be Kind.
Sometimes, we are the kindest person around, but we are not kind anymore at home. We easily start telling rude things to our couple as he or she won’t complain or we think that he or she will have to accept it.
Avoid insults, regrets and complains as you are with everyone else out there, at the end people at home deserve much more kindness from you that people at work or in the street, aren’t they?
Even more, if you are having a fight, do not lose your head and insult your couple, some soul wounds are very difficult to heal and they will come up later again in your relationship.
You do not have to be the happiest person on earth, but there is nothing more unpleasant than living with a person angry all the time.
Some of us, for diverse situations like work, money or even traffic, arrive home in a very bad mood. Have you ever stopped to think about why are you so angry? Sometimes it is because some really stupid things that do not worth showing that face to the people you love most.
Besides, nobody wants to talk with an angry person; therefore, this is an important communication blocker.
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4. Remember Birthdays, Anniversaries.
If you are men, you cannot understand why this is a big issue. If you are woman, you cannot understand how he can forget such important dates.
However, if you are men, no excuses, remember that this is important for your couple and there are hundred of sites on the internet, cell phones, PDA’s, computers, where you can setup your important dates and get remembered with the anticipation desired to avoid uncomfortable situations.
5. Avoid routines.
We all have a routine life at work, school and everywhere else. Don’t make your relationship another routine in your life. This is a killer for the relationship!
Avoiding routine is not easy, the momentum of our life take us to embrace routine, however fight to avoid routine in your relationship, be creative and enjoy doing different things.
Don’t think that you have to take roses every week or something; even simple things can change routine and make life different and more enjoyable to anyone in your family. If you have kids, routine break is great for their development too, so try to enjoy small things in life.
To make my point clear, sometimes even a walk in the park can break the routine, so no money, time or brain is really necessary to break the routine.
6. Keep Dating (but your spouse…)
Obviously, I mean with your couple! Keep going out once in a while for movies, dinner or even a cup of coffee. If you have kids, try to hire a babysitter every time you can afford and go out for a cup of coffee, pizza, watch a movie, have an ice cream, etc. There are thousands of things you can do like when you were dating your couple, so keep doing it, obviously with the frequency that you are allowed now.
Thousands of couples fall into this mistake and they stop doing things by themselves and having a moment alone for each other. These moments will foster communication, that is why they are so valuable for your relationship.
7. Watch your TV IQ.
Always is very easy to sit in your living room, watch TV and forget about anything else. Be careful about this! If you can notice, TV is one of those things that I mentioned that can destroy your marriage.
It breaks communication, distract each other attention, and you can easily fall into a TV watching routine.
When you notice that TV is more important than your couple or anyone in your family, reset priorities.
I am not saying that you should avoid TV, I am saying that all your spare time at home should not be used to watch TV.
If you are very keen to watch TV, try to find shows that you and your couple can enjoy together.
8. Support your Couple
This should not be mentioned, you suppose to support your couple, but there is a bunch of selfish people everywhere that are only looking to get support but they are not willing to provide support to their couples when they need it.
If you live with one of these persons, try to make things clear and make him understand that you will support him while you expect support from him back.
If you suspect that your couple is like this and you think that when he sees you in trouble he will change, don’t assume anything. You better talk about it now than having the greatest disappointment of your life later, during a difficult time for you.
It is very sad when you notice that you have a partner only for happy moments and this attitude is a relationship killer because you start questioning yourself if all the effort you do to share life with your couple worth it.
9. Make a joint plan.
These or any other recommendations will be useless if you and your couple are not both aware of them.
Talk with your partner about a joint plan to improve the relationship and if you are fine now, to strengthen the relationship at most for difficult times.
Notice that you will always face problems, the important thing is to go out of them without damaging the relationship.
Relationships, like everything else in life require a great amount of work and commitment to be successful. Sometimes we are very organized, workaholic and even paranoid of perfection for our jobs, appearance, etc. but we are not the same for our relationships.